'just in case' post

only a few will understand this post. but i will post it anyway.
i am a peaceful person. i do not offend. nor have reason to.
if i have offended you in some strange way, don't take it to heart.
and i was surprised i did anyway, judging from the response i read.
so, peace again.
"make this a better place, for you and for me, and the entire human race..."

sunday brekkie

poor neglected blog. and the constant tug of war. as social creatures we need to be heard. we need to vent and need to be patted. blogs allow that because blog mates are one of the most supportive buddies in the world. that and of cos allowing a few who gets on your nerve, haha.
but overall, we can't complain. there is more good than bad. when we look at the scheme of things, there are worse things happening out there, so gotta zippo that complaining lips.
being an open blog, anyone has access. and nope, not gonna go private. total voyeurism's my game. heh. not doing paid posts at the moment so i can afford that line.
what's this post about? a rambling stomach calling out for breakfast. can't do words on an empty stomach. cheerio.

bits of life picking

taking a short break before i resume my packing. it's terribly uncomfortable to do them in this stifling weather. as i look through my rubbish that i've accumulated, i realised that i have come a long way. been there done that, but at the end of the day, all the achievements go down the same black garbage bag. it's like 'unto ash we shalt return' indeed.

so, to all those who are suffering heart breaks of any kind, or striving for that extra rung to get above another (person), my humble sharing is, after twenty years or even thirty, nothing matters anymore. we all end up the same path. you may have more material gains and perhaps get to enjoy old age in a better rewarding manner. but we all die on the same death bed. the person you once admired is going to have wrinkles and a hunch. he/she will lack all powers one day when he hits that mark. have i lived my life productively? i honestly don't think so. i have touched many peoples' lives for sure, saved a couple even. but i have lived a life of mistakes. do i regret? not really. because we all make mistakes. they are unavoidable. oftentimes we learn only when we have our feet half buried in the ground. we are born stubborn after all. how many of us can have a mentor, and yet listen to him? hardly i'm afraid. the more potential you have, the more likely you will not listen. i have gone down that road. so i live with my mistakes.

it's a poignant moment in my life. spring cleaning in more ways than one. but alas, time is not on my side. that is not to say i'm dying tomorrow. but i am on the wrong side of life. the one that subtracts from the quarter that is left. what will i make of the rest of my time? i really don't know. i am an old dog after all. and old dogs don't learn new tricks fast.
have a good humid day, folks. i'm going back to my junk. got a lot more to do. *huggies and one for the road*

to sir ilias

thank you sir ilias, this is too beautiful not to share.
http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Life/index.htm
(great music there too)

god bless your sweet heart.
and your countless roses are not forgotten.
thank you.

messimisti

going into the next phase in my life, i have discarded tons of stuff.
and to think that i actually paid movers good money to lug all those stuff from house to house.
it's amazing, it's incredulous, it's ludicrous.

what was i thinking?
no wonder my life is a mess
it's as messy as the rubbish i lug along in life.

clean slate?

i am like a purple dot
stucked in time
in limbo, as the rest of the world goes by.
as i was packing, i found tons of old memories. they were what shaped me (un)fortunately. some scars of past battles, some bravely fought but mostly all in guise of a wounded me. how silly.
took three quarters of my life to realize those were actually stuffs that were meant for the garbage bags years ago. way too long if i may say. but they left stigmas to my soul. i am me as a result of those stains. they're not bad stains. but not totally good too. anyway, as i type this, i don't think they matter anymore. i have even forgotten many things. but the feelings of past hurts are still there though. vague hurts. silly hurts. even sillier when you can't really remember what they were all about. i should spring clean this part of me too. into the garbage bags they belong.

concerted effort

*yawn*
i can sleep right at my desk now.
but cannot, must tahan. tomorrow got to work somemore. *yawn*
i used up a gallon of adrenalin just now. speaking impromptu was both fun and unnerving.
thank goodness the concert went well, ie. if we don't expect too much lah. the management was kind in their praises, haha. maybe they were being polite. :P
we had great team work with the bands. they were absolutely wonderful to work with, with each one looking out for each other and switching places when needed. i couldn't have asked for a better bunch of musicians. if any one wants to perform in future, just email me ya! am too dead beat to write a proper post haha. so sleepy. it's 1125 pm. an hour more to go probably. there goes another day. i am another day older lol. *groan*

ps.. lisababe, thinking of you helped. i was a calmer ball of nerves hehe.

Happy Birthday Angel

on my own drum beat

probably it's me.
it's either i'm too ngiow professional that i need answers fast, or the world is really moving on its own pace, and me on mine.

noisy muzak

mini headache at temple coming up..
it's people phobia.
people make so much noise.
don't they know less is more?
loud is not music.
haiz.
but i run a business as some customer just said.
and therefore, i cannot say anything.
i am not that stupid to comment on their muzak of course.
not my line.
i just tolerate.
haiz.

gig anyone?

can you churn out a song or two, or even three?
unplugged preferably. nothing loud because the ambience does not allow.
i need performers. will be on a regular basis. venue not posh. will be ideal for anyone who likes to perform, for a kick maybe, lol.
er.. not a paying gig. sorry. at most i will provide the studios free for you to practise in. and maybe refreshments? email me. would love to hear from you.
ps. my company is not paid, and we are sponsoring the equipments etc. so that's why there is no budget to pay. sorry.

random thoughts

what's with people who thinks they own the world when they walk into the shop. no doubt it's public domain but they never realised it reflects badly on them even if they're dressed to the nines. okay in this case, she was dressed casually. if there is a sales person within two feet of your face, it is only polite to ask if you could take pictures.
it's not like you have the intention to purchase the item, in which case you might be forgiven, but still it does not get past the rude issue if you do not want to even return a greet and just goes flashing at every thing that catches your fancy.
i wondered if it was the nice displays, *ahem*, but no, she even clicks on studio pieces that are worn out and sitting on the floor. it makes me wonder if she wants the floor plan of our shop too.
then, after satisfying herself, she walks out of the shop with her entourage! goodness me.
i know i had the right to stop her. i was just too tired and yes, it wouldn't have been worth the effort. i just looked at her with disbelieved eyes.

sorry, this is what happens when i post. i don't have too many sunshiny thoughts or happy inspirational quotes. i prefer animals more than humans most part of the day.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

happiness is a choice

there was a period of time when i didn't fall sick. and i mean years. the power of the mind can be strong. it was a time when i actually grew quite tired of being sick. you see, i was never a strong person to begin with. anyway the point is, i was mentally so strong that i never fell sick for a number of years, not even catching the flu or the usual sort of ailments. then it had to happen of course. i was burdened with stuffs on my mind and i succumbed. so after that trip to the doc, i became 'normal', falling sick just like any regular person.

perhaps the key to staying healthy is to be happy everyday.
to be positive. to be your own best friend.
i suspect i don't treat myself well.
so i think i should make a conscious choice everyday, every night..
to be happy, to be positive, to basically treat myself better, because ultimately the body will react to how you feel.
so far so good. i do feel better. not in 100% working condition, but we need to be kind to ourselves for little achievements too i guess.

misti tries to breathe

i long for vast lands, i wish for clean air, clear scenery, mountains.
i need to breathe.
i think i will be healthier in a different environment.

but we make choices.
and we live with our choices.
and life is only that short.
we can't live two lifetimes in one.

misti old

every day every year i am getting older, in more ways than one.
i just told my doc yesterday that i feel old. he laughed.
then in all seriousness i told him, i ..really.. feel old.
then i laughed.
so much for being serious.

surrealistic

it could be the last bout of vertigo, it could be the weather, it could be the warm lights that my complex is sporting that is making me feel like i'm floating everyday. everything seems so surreal, it seems almost unreal. it's a strange feeling. add on the swine flu that's going on, i feel like life seems to hang on a thread. have been trying to shake off this feeling for weeks.
i asked my colleague if he feels the same. he says it's the lights. warm lights are supposed to make one feel cozy, good. i'm getting too much of it i guess.

misti loves you, you who matter

there is a detached feeling from life and me these days.
i mean, life goes on, but it's more like two different things happening at the same time. one, the real life, and one, the meaningless of life as it is. too many things have happened and too fast. bad things happen to good people and it's hard. i think my own life will take another standstill if things happen. i cannot put the two together; real life and 'real life'.
the only consolation perhaps is that life is short for all of us. and we will all ultimately meet when the time is right. till then, i wonder why people in general are still so mean and calculative, etc. don't they know that it does not matter at the end of the day?
what do they gain with all the hooha? believe me life will really look different when things happen.
things that matter will not anymore, and the reverse is true too.
so, treasure whoever is around you, the people that matters.
because we never know. including ourselves.
god bless, and peace.

hotter than the weather

i wondered if it was me.
then i thought it must be the weather.
then on thinking deeper, i thought it could be my country.
what am i thinking about?
the answer, or rather the question, "why do i feel like a pressure cooker?"
everyone around seems to have their nerves on edge. people are raising their voices over small issues and of course, shouting over the bigger ones. the ignorant are taken advantage of. the old and discarded people in the streets are trampled all over, without anyone caring for them.
there was an expat lady who once told me, "do you notice that not many people smile around here?" "everyone seems so worked up and pressured".
anyway, i shall stop here before i meander further.

misti oink

taking tomolo off. not that we can afford it. but i need a break. have been 'tong-ing' for a few days liao since i am working alone. but i think better not push it. so i am turning into a pig tomolo even though i can't really sleep that much. but i can do a good oink. that would be good too.
a oink oink here and a oink oink there.. oink here oink there everywhere oink oink
old mcmisti had a farm. ee i e i ooooo

misti positivity at work again

must stay positive minded.. must.. *gasp*
kena flu. haiz. but fighting it, rather well. *gasp*
*headache*
must tahan.
long night. but will make it. misti positivity says half the battle is won if the mind wins it first.
*mutter mutter* vertigo not yet completely healed, now kena this.
dottaaaaaa rainbowone!!! you got extra 8 kinds of flowers to mandi with? kakakaka

freak wind

addendum added! hehehe
freak wind just now sial. scary. i think many parts of singapore felt it. i read it in a forum. and the news? of course not yet report lah.
i was going home and suddenly there was this gust of wind from nowhere. we had to duck from the many things that were blowing out of control all over. there was a road block signage that blew across a major road. heavy duty dustbins dropped like bowling pins. we had to take refuge on the outside of a building and naturally felt pretty vulnerable since we were like a couple of feet from the 'action'.
the howling of the wind and the sound of slapping planks and dusts which blew all over made me a bit weak knee-ed. am i exaggerating? nah. it was really frightening.
the new building across where i was made me more nervous because it felt as if there could be planks falling down and they had the potential to swing across human paths. and yes, people were running all over.
okay. this is misti news signing off.
please donate to my paypal for this fresh off the oven news. :P

addendum:
hot off the press~!! and truly off the press!! pengsan! and i wrote on the first paragraph that it was not reported in the news, but of cos! lmao!! this was published today in the straits times breaking news and when i read on, i thought it sounded familiar. then i was thinking.. hmm.. and then i read 'mistipurple' hahahhaa. straits times quoted me!! if only striking 1st prize toto could be this 'choon'.

misti positivity

so, i must surround myself with positive vibes.
stay away from negative chi people. thankfully not many of my friends are.
i must admit though, i am not all miss sunshiny. i am guilty of being a doomsayer myself.
but really, negative chi and negative surroundings really pull a soul under.

i told myself (and my doc) that after i get well from my vertigo, i must really do something about getting my butt(s) to a 'wellness' place. no, not any blood sucking centres that want to make me spend my hard earn munny (too much fluffing in facebook, haha) on some hold-no-water programs. thankfully i have one blogger here who have recommended some good stuffs that i will look into, and one other whom i trust after reading for a long time, to get into perhaps a pilates program. but i need to get well first. don't want to go spinning everywhere, lol.
thankfully i am getting better. age and stress and whatever plays a part.
so people, do take multivitamins if you need. but get them 'approved' by your doc first. don't just pile on the system. take what you need and not what you fancy.

on this note, misti positivity hopes she will have at least one leg out there heading in the right direction of positive thinking. yattaa!!

scary lah

there was one day when i double dosed. no no i wasn't contemplating suicide. i was just muddle headed. since i was feeding nutrients and vitamins to sturdy my vertigo and i was waking up at odd hours to feed feed feed, i fed the wrong tablet twice within two hours. and that was supposed to be 12 hours apart. horrifyingscarifying experience. wah, do you know it's damn hard to get advice at that time of the night and every 24 hr clinic will not entertain your simple question of whether you should bring yourself to a clinic or hospital. of course i don't blame them lah because nobody would want to implicate themselves. but gawdamnit i was just calmly asking a question and if a doctor was around they can easily answer my very non implicating question.
anyway, i managed to get my answer after going through the rounds of calling hospitals and clinics and waking up my own doc. yes, i am my worse enemy. god bless me i am feeling way better now.

misti is back, in a wayz

i yam finally a bit.. better. hehehe.
and oso, becos i most likey be not doing p a i d posts so often, so to h&ll with grammar (i had to check for spelling just now cos i spelt gramma and it looked farnies), and paragraphing andz so forthz. ah, so liberatingz.
you dunno, how torturing wor those years. but i am grateful lah, because got earn sum munnies mah. paid some bills, in fact paid many bills.
now left one blog where i might continue lah, because that one is people come to doorstep and asketh me to blog wan. how to refuse right? people so kind look me high, i of cos must oblige.
actually there's more to it lah, but dunwan to sexplain it here. not so nice lah. maybe sum other time i might.
s for now, injoy my inglishh and tell me you mizz me okieee?
hehehehhehe. *can breathez so happies*

yawn

time crawls when you're sleepy.
*yawn*
the result is also additional calories. in a bid to stay awake, i have been munching tit bits.
it's like i need to be scared out of my skin to jolt myself to wakefulness. but that's not a very good idea.
i look pathetic. already looking tired even when i am not, you can imagine how i look. sigh.
eye make-up helps. but i have sensitive eyes, so i stay away from them.
i took a walk a couple of times, didn't help. i ended up buying more tit bits.

happy easter and to new skin perhaps

Sometimes for some reason, you stop living at a certain age and leave your life behind whilst the current soulless one goes on ticking. The people you've known lives on in your heart, and you just age on without actually knowing you've aged. Till you look at the mirror ie., and you don't quite know the image. It's the same one though that you wake up to when you brush your teeth and do your daily chores and get about on the same daily grime. But something happened too long ago that you don't even realised. Something, someone robbed you of your life. Their lives went on while yours stopped. Tick tock tick tock the clock goes on. You wonder where to pick up the thread. You wonder where the reel of life stopped. You wonder if you should actually go back and pick up the last shred. But you know at the same time you will probably not even recognise the worn thread if you see it. But it is Easter and a time for revival. A new life perhaps. No one said you couldn't start anew. Imagine a baby in wrinkled skin. Gawd I'm in bigger trouble than I thought. And... LOL! Happy Easter, kind folks!

misti dracula

I have been swinging up and down. Hopefully the coming days will be better. This episode of vertigo is a stubborn one. Never had it before, so whoever said there's a first time for everything is definitely right. Anyway, life goes on, whether I sleep or not, morning still comes. I told many people that I become a basket case when night falls. Because I cannot sleep properly and I turn into dracula have to resort to stacks of pillows to try to prop my head in all angles.

the poor and the rich

I think rich(er) people are more stingy with their money. When compared with the poor(er), I find the poorer person more sincere than those who have huge inheritance or those who have made tons from the stock market.
The richer person somewhat counts every penny. Maybe the poorer guy does not have much in the first place so he does not feel the pinch in giving or sharing. The irony eh?
I know I feel much happier when sharing a meal or being invited to a 'poorer' person's home. There's more love, warmth and sincerity compared. *grins*
Have a good weekend, folks!

misti nice

I just cannot stand rude people. Perhaps it's their upbringing. Perhaps they think they're beautiful (referring to guys and dolls here) that gives them the right to domineer and dominate. And when I encounter such folks, it gives me delicious pleasure to be utterly nice to them to allow them to think they have the upper hand. Ya, I'm sick too, LOL.